The prototype for v.5 has been my personal bag since it first took shape around November. Lately I’d get a little embarrassed showing it off because it’s gotten a bit ratty around the edges. Add to that the reeking smell of two rounds of cat piss and you can see why the prototype needed to go. Thank you Simon the cat for helping make this transition so effortless.

So R.I.P. original blue prototype and welcome to the new orange & gray striped wonder that is now my main bag. I definitely like showing this one off, & I think I’ll do a whole line of striped v.5s. Right now I’m working on an all orange bag with orange & black stripes for the flap… hot!

A couple of my bags sold from subdivision this week. It’s great to know my little babies are wrapping themselves around a strangers’ torsos right about now. So now, with my sewing machine all lubed up & happy, I have a bit of a crunch to make a couple replacement bags for subdivision as well as some bags to show off to the folks in Denver. I wanted to take four to Denver, but making 6 bags in the next two weeks with friends in from out of town doesn’t seem too easy. Watch out for some crazy color combinations as I start using my stock of fabric more often. Luckily Simon the Saboteur will have no way of enacting his evil upon the new bags.

Surprisingly enough, you are not the only person to whom I’ve related my tales of woe. Certain select people have also heard it, as well as just about anyone who asks. As frustrating & laughable as my situation has been lately, I’ve been equally happified by how some people have responded.

A couple weeks ago, my boss came into work with a camera bag & told me it contained my “newest expensive hobby.” That’s fuh sho! Inside the case was a Mamiya 127mm lens with a Polaroid back… geek speak for an awesome camera that I have lusted after before. This camera is the wonderful antithesis to my poor, jailed digital SLR. Every shot costs about a buck, it does nothing for you whatsoever… no light meter, one of those silly parallax focus systems, etc… but after 60 seconds of developing (& the 300 seconds it took you to set up & focus the shot) you have an actual, physical picture in your hand. It has showed me a lot already about how I take pictures, and has reaffirmed my film camera skills. It’s a great feeling to get all the settings right by intuition & experience rather than an idiot-proof couple of buttons & dials.

When I related the same sob story to the woman who owns the building where I work, I was surprised 20 minutes later by her husband leaving a sewing machine with me. Apparently it’s an “extra” that he has no use for anymore (did one of the kids in his sweatshop die?) which will make a handy backup for me.

I know it isn’t just a NY thing when things you need find their way to you by chance, but it seems more… something here. I guess it’s something about having a bigger network or knowing more people who have had equally as many diverse interests/desperate means of making rent throughout the years. And believe me, I’m not trying to pull some tough-as-steel-New-Yorkers-come-through-with-hearts-of-gold crap, I’m just psyched that people actually listen to sob stories anymore. We hear them so often I figured we just classified them as matters of the heart/financial/success & used the appropriate stock answers for the remainder of the story. Maybe I should shut up & stop giving away my secrets.

Although I have no use for astrology in my daily life, there are times — like these — that force me to consider the actions of larger processes. I have to fool myself into thinking that some of the larger cogs in the machine really can affect me directly, otherwise I think I’d lose even more hope. I mean, without the justification that some of the most absurd things that happen to us actually have a purpose behind them, only the floppy, useless absurdity would be left, not the resilient, strong “thing that makes it all worth it.”

And so I am left without the two main channels for me to get my art out of my head. When I gave up my camera for two weeks to be repaired at the end of March, it was hard, but I had to put up a show and there were plenty other things that I had to do with old photos rather than shoot new ones. A few weeks after getting it back, though, the camera showed the same problem, only worse than ever before. So I bring it back to the repair people on May 25th, with a pickup date of May 28th. What I didn’t know was that there was a recording session that weekend that I was to shoot. I hadn’t been told it was happening, but I was able to borrow a friend’s pocket digital camera for the time being, and I would take shots for the album cover during the week when I had my camera back. You guessed it… I still don’t have the camera. I’ve showed up or called them 6 or 7 times and they seem truly apologetic, but my baby is still with them.

Luckily, I’ve had a lot to do with sewing lately, & many ideas that I’ve wanted to implement. I almost completed a new style for myself that I am very excited about. I completed the entire bag except for the strap assembly & logos. I cut the straps, printed out the logos & went back to the studio late night to finish it up. Penelope, my poor, overused sewing machine finally picked this time to have issues. I have known since I started that I am using this sewing machine for projects that I should be using an industrial machine for. But I’ve treated her nicely, stroked her & talked to her & she has been very good to me. So I don’t blame her, it’s definitely my fault… but now? Is now really the best time to teach me a lesson? Apparently the answer is a loud “yes.” She isn’t dead yet, just in need of repairs, but even so, she be out of the studio for a week or more, and I have to confront the fact that I’ll need to drop hundreds of dollars on a heavy-duty machine at some point.

When I’m not depressed about all of this, I’m laughing because I definitely feel like I’m being tested. And that’s where blaming it on the stars comes in. Maybe I should take up painting landscapes. Astrologyzone.com says my suffering is just about over… just June, July & August to get through & life will be good again. Get me a paintbrush & some Bob Ross DVDs.

I donated one of the electric blue v.5s for the silent auction at the Taste of LIC tomorrow night. It will be part of Subdivision’s auction package. Bid away for great arts & theatre!

As frustrating as it can be to, you know, come up with ideas, make channels for those ideas to get from skull to reality and then actually produce something you can call art, all the little things in between those steps form their own little networks of annoyance. I mean really… shouldn’t we earn some sort of art credit by simply pursuing an idea long enough to bring it to real life? The answer apparently, from the dean of student relations is an emphatic ‘no’. Art rarely ever gets easier… sometimes, occasionally it gets less difficult, but it never gets easier.

All of this comes from the fact that I’ve had lots of ideas lately for projects. Since I’ve made enough bags to sustain a small rush of sales (go ahead, challenge that assumption!), I’ve thought about working on other accessories. So I’ve been designing stuff, drawing it out, thinking about these things all the time even though I haven’t had much opportunity to get into my studio lately. I was so excited to get even a couple hours to get cracking on these projects and when I did get the chance, I was totally immobilized. It was that stupid combination of having too much pressure put on the time, not having enough time and not having been able to be in there at all the past week. Again, Art Dean, can’t any of those hours of thinking & designing count towards my actual studio time? Why is the entire enterprise such a fragile thing? And then he goes off on some blah-blah-blah about character building or something.

So… all this is to say that, as easy as it is to ignore, especially here in NY, rhythm is one of the most important ways of shaping a life. I should be focusing more energy on getting my schedule to fit my waves of productivity rather than saving up productivity for two hours of studio time. That means that in the near future, somewhere on this blog there will be a great post about the balance of productivity & inspiration that will be powerful & insightful. Maybe I should start writing a draft right now.